We’ve entered the month of gratitude, and while gratitude is something that can enrich our lives and help us think more positively, it can also have negative effects on our mental health long term.
How can gratitude be a bad thing?
Pretending to be grateful when you are not can bury your real feelings and enforce negative thoughts.
Forcing yourself to see a silver lining can make you ignore the pain that you are feeling. You don’t always have to have a positive outlook.
Feeling grateful can make you feel indebted to someone, or like you owe someone something.
The bottom line is…
The idea that a positive mindset and gratitude can overcome mental health conditions can lead to ignoring mental health concerns and hiding uncomfortable emotions. While research shows that practicing gratitude in your everyday life can have lasting positive effects, it needs to be approached as a lifestyle change – not a forced feeling that you have to have every November.
So how can you feel gratitude in a way that doesn’t harm your mental health?
Realize that it is okay if you don’t feel grateful in this season of life. Just because it’s November doesn’t mean that you need to feel grateful for everything in your life.
Savor your experiences, and notice positive moments in your day-to-day life as they are happening.
Spending time with a daily journal. This is an opportunity to learn what you are focused on, and is great to add to your daily routine.
Ask others what they are grateful for, and pay attention.
Comparing your life to others can diminish your sense of gratitude; focus on your own journey.
Keep a gratitude journal.
Express your gratitude for others – write a kind note to someone you love and let them know you love them.
Additionally, it’s important to recognize that gratitude should not replace genuine emotional processing. If you are struggling with difficult emotions, suppressing them under the guise of gratitude may do more harm than good. Instead, acknowledge your feelings, validate them, and seek support if needed. Therapy, open conversations with trusted individuals, and self-compassion can all be valuable tools for maintaining mental well-being alongside gratitude practices.
Another way to practice gratitude in a healthy way is by engaging in mindfulness. Mindfulness allows you to be present with your emotions without judgment. Rather than forcing gratitude, you can gently recognize the positive aspects of your life while also holding space for difficulties. This balanced approach prevents toxic positivity and allows you to cultivate a genuine sense of appreciation over time.
It can also be helpful to focus on gratitude for small, everyday things rather than feeling pressured to express gratitude for life-changing or monumental experiences. Being grateful for a warm cup of coffee, a smile from a stranger, or a cozy blanket can be just as meaningful as expressing gratitude for major life events. By appreciating these little moments, you allow gratitude to become a natural and sustainable part of your daily life rather than a forced obligation.
Furthermore, gratitude should not be tied to external validation or expectations. It’s okay if your gratitude looks different from someone else’s. Social media often amplifies performative gratitude, where people share seemingly perfect expressions of thankfulness. However, true gratitude is personal and does not need to be showcased for others. Focusing on internal reflections rather than external appearances can help cultivate a more authentic gratitude practice.
Lastly, remember that gratitude is just one tool in the toolbox of mental well-being. It is not a cure-all, nor should it be used to dismiss valid struggles. Instead of using gratitude to negate negative emotions, allow it to exist alongside them. Life is a mix of highs and lows, and being grateful does not mean you have to disregard your hardships.
Ultimately, gratitude should be a source of comfort and joy rather than pressure or guilt. Practicing it in a way that aligns with your emotional well-being will allow you to fully experience its benefits without compromising your mental health. So this November, if you find yourself struggling to feel grateful, know that you are not alone. Give yourself grace, and remember that gratitude is a journey, not a destination. Speaking with a mental health professional can help you through difficult times.
